Jacob & Esau, Feuding Brothers

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Genesis 25:19-35; 27; 32:1-15; 33:1-17

Did your parents have a vision for your life?

Maybe their hope was that you would take over the family farm, construction company, restaurant, or retail business.

Maybe their dream was that you go to college or university, and surpass their own accomplishments, hoping that higher education would land you a prestigious job, buy you a home, and make possible the means to have a family of your own.

How did their dream line up with your hopes? Were they in sync, or opposed?

Maybe you’re a teenager or young adult. What’s it like living in the presence of your parents’ hope for your life? Does their dream shed light on your path, or block out the sun?

Parental expectations – both those spoken, and unspoken – can sometimes feel heavy, adding pressure and stress to finding one’s path in life.

I remember becoming very frustrated with my parents around the age of twenty, telling them I didn’t want to follow in my father’s footsteps, working at General Motors. I had tried it for two summers, and I just couldn’t see it long term.  //

Years later, raising our own children, each of our kids around the age of 16 became frustrated and upset with us. We asked what was wrong, and they basically told us:

     “We can’t be like you!”

It took some time to unpack with them what that meant. Turns out we hadn’t realized our identities and passions were casting a shadow over them, making it difficult for them to see and know who they felt called to be.

We listened, apologized, and promised to be more sensitive.  //

I wonder what it was like for Jesus to grow up with his parents. They had a God-given vision of him being the next king of Israel, the long-awaited Messiah and Savior, not only of the Jews, but of all humankind.

Do you suppose it ever stressed him out, causing him to push back, telling Mary & Joseph their hopes for him were way too high?

Even if he was open to their dream (and it turns out he was), might he have had misgivings, feelings of embarrassment, even disgust, given the number of times his ancestors made choices that resulted in great harm to others and themselves?  //

Today, our worship series on “Becoming a People of God” moves on to the next generation. Abraham and Sarah have passed the baton of the family mission to their son Isaac, putting him in charge of the “Chosen Family.”

It’s now Isaac’s turn to steer the ship and guide it to a New World where all the nations will want to come, finding themselves at home with God, each other, and all Creation.

How did he manage this huge responsibility? I imagine Jesus as a teen would have been quite curious to dig into this story. What would Isaac do with the mess he inherited – a situation not unlike what Jesus was facing.

Isaac’s parents had muddied the reputation of God’s chosen family, leaving it in disrepair, stained by two major scandals.

Janet named them in her sermon last week, namely:

  • The one when they had gone to Egypt to ride out a famine. While there, Abraham passed his wife off as his sister, putting Sarah in an awful bind where she ends up being taken into Pharoah’s house as one of his wives, violating her marriage and her body. Pharoah was none too impressed either, reaping the spread of a serious disease in his household. That story left us shaking our heads at what a cowardly and selfish choice Abraham made.
  • The second scandal Janet drew our attention to occurred sometime later, possibly linked to the break in trust that surely occurred between Sarah & Abraham while in Egypt. Sarah makes the choice to pass her maidservant Hagar over to Abraham. Was this a sign she was done with the marriage?

Why not let this slave girl bear him a son and take the pressure off their union. When Hagar becomes pregnant, it stirs jealousies and anger. It isn’t long before Sarah insists Hagar and her son Ishmael be sent away, with nothing. Abraham agrees to it, perhaps hoping it might save his marriage. We’re left shocked and saddened by how Hagar and Ishmael are treated.

Anyone can see that these two scandals are at odds with the couple’s God-given calling. What people groups will be drawn to a family that caves to self-interest, leaving gross injustice in its wake? //

Now, if that weren’t enough to give Isaac cause to put the mission in drydock for the next hundred years, there is one more thing that happens, this time affecting him.

The final straw that breaks the camel’s back – or should we say Isaac’s – comes when Abraham feels compelled to strap his young son down on an altar and sacrifice him as a test of loyalty and devotion to God.

Isaac’s life is spared at the very last second, and Abraham comes through this test looking like a hero. But the Bible says nothing about what being betrayed unto death by your father was like for Isaac.

We’re left to imagine it.

Honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me to learn Isaac suffered nightmares for years after. Maybe he never completely healed from it.

When you add up these three traumatic hurt-causing stories, does it surprise us that there isn’t much said about Isaac in the chapters that follow?

It’s like he goes off grid, keeps to himself, to avoid being known. He distracts himself from his calling, and focuses on work instead, building up his herds of sheep and goats.

When some of his neighbors become jealous of his success, and stop up his wells, making life difficult, Isaac chooses to move on rather than get in a fight or appeal to any authority. Seems he just wants to be left alone.

Could Isaac be depressed? Abraham worries there might not be grandkids, and so sends a servant back to Haran to find Isaac a wife among their relatives. Ther servant is successful, and Isaac is smitten by the beauty of Rebekah. //

The pressure is on to have children, but none come of the marriage. Twenty years go by. The weight of caring this responsibility just gets getting heavier and heavier.

Makes me wonder if Isaac would have loved to trade places with Ishmael, his half-brother. Afterall, technically, Ishmael was the firstborn.

Ishmael was thirteen years older than Isaac. Could not a case be made that he should have inherited the mission and money from Abraham?

Yes, it was terrible that Ishmael and his mother were kicked out of the family, but at least Ishmael was free to do has he pleased. And he seems to have ultimately prospered too.

But that’s not what happened. The younger brother (Isaac) gets the call and the cash to carry the mission, not the older one.… a foreshadowing of what is about to happen next?  //

In today’s scripture story, Isaac appears old, tired, and near death. He wants to pass on the responsibility he inherited from his parents to the next generation.

Perhaps he feels guilty, for what has he done with it? It would seem not much.

And again, for reasons already stated, who can blame him for burying this pearl of great value? It’s as lifeless as he feels. Time is running out – or so he thinks.

Yes, I would say Isaac is depressed – burdened with shame and guilt for doing nothing to advance the family’s mission. If his parents were still living, they would be disappointed. How much more God!

The best thing Isaac can do is to pass the baton to Esau, the firstborn.

Isaac has a plan. Now, let me remind you that Esau is a twin. He’s only the firstborn by a few minutes. Google says that the average time between twins being born is 17 minutes. Let’s go with that.

Tradition dictates that the firstborn (Esau) owns the right to all the family’s wealth, AND more importantly in this family, owns the responsibility to steward the mission God started with Esau’s grandfather Abraham, all because Esau was born 17 minutes ahead of his brother. 17 minutes!

Something so important as this mission and the financial resources to grow it is being directed NOT by virtue of who has the passion for it, or the skills, but totally based on something arbitrary – birth order – 17 minutes.

This does not make any sense!!!

The Bible tells us that Esau is an outdoors man, a wilderness man, a hunter, a loner.

Isaac can relate to his son Esau, shares some of these same impulses.

We read that Isaac’s love favors Esau. I wonder if it’s because Esau doesn’t look like the rest of the family.

His skin is a different color, and he’s a very hairy man! Jacob is smooth-skinned.

It follows that people won’t readily associate Esau with the clan and its track record of terrible injustices. //

Esau represents what Isaac has always wanted – freedom from the shame that comes with carrying their family’s mission across his shoulders.

But the problem is that TRADITION dictates that Isaac must transfer this burden on Esau – for Esau is the firstborn. I can imagine Isaac feeling very conflicted over this.

Esau knows it’s coming too, and judging by how quick he is to sell his birthright to Jacob for a bowl of lentil stew, Esau is not all that keen on being shouldered with the family mission!

But 17 minutes has destined this to be so.

It’s another soul-shredding INJUSTICE moments away from happening.  //

The facts are clear. Esau is not cut out for the job. Jacob is a much better fit. The second born is a people person, an entrepreneur, a wheeler and dealer, a heel-grabber, mover, and shaker.

But none of that counts. Esau’s identity and Jacob’s identity are about to be disregarded, because tradition and the culture dictate it so.

But the Chosen Family is supposed to be different, is it not?

It’s supposed to draw people to it, and by extension, to God, because it doesn’t go with the status quo when that path ends up hurting others, disregarding their God-intended uniqueness.

That truth must have made Isaac restless.

Is he going to cave and sacrifice his sons on the altar of tradition?

Or is he going to turn to God and look for a way to be different – a way to be a family that respects and honors the uniqueness of each member?  //

Rebekah, the mother of the twins, wants it to be different so badly that she is willing to be cursed by society for tricking her husband to bless Jacob instead of Esau.

We can argue about her tactics, whether they were justified or not – but we can’t deny her determination to protest an arbitrary favoring of one child over the other.

It’s not right!

It’s hurtful, and harmful to both children.

It will wound and separate their family.  //

To recap, I’ve painted a picture of Isaac for you that has him looking depressed, tired, envious of his half-brother Ishmael, and out of love, feeling for what blessing the firstborn will do to Esau.

I’ve suggested to you that up until now, Isaac has hidden his talents in the ground. The Mission has been out of sight, and out of mind.

But it seems there still is a smoldering wick burning in his heart, a bit of light testifying that he hasn’t totally capitulated, bowing down to the culture and its traditions!

That sputtering wick starts to fan into a flame when Jacob comes to trick Isaac. At least three if not four times Isaac checks to see if this is really Esau in front of him.

Isaac is blind, but his other senses have picked up the slack and are telling him this might be Jacob instead.

Did Isaac figure it out?

If he did, was he secretly relieved and willing to go along with the ruse, because he, like Rebekah didn’t want to deny who each son was – their unique abilities, dreams, and hopes for their lives?

Surely Isaac knew Jacob was better suited, gifted, capable of the mission.  //

Jacob’s deception gave Isaac a face-saving way out. He could say he was tricked, and that his hands were tied, having given the blessing to the younger son.

Going along with this deception would give both boys what they really wanted.

And Isaac, with Rebekah, will have set a new precedent, where traditions that discriminate and harm can be interrupted and changed.  //

Still, not all is hunky-dory. Esau is blindsided by what happens.

It’s a loss for him – a shift out of his position of privilege being the firstborn.

Even though he is spared the unwanted burden of leading the family mission, he feels slighted, even cheated.

Isaac steps out of the shadows of his depression and acts like a leader – like a true father of the covenant passed down to him.

Isaac tells his hurting son Esau a truth, saying,

“When you grow restless of carrying this hurt, you will throw this yoke off from your neck.”

Right now, this yoke has Jacob’s name on it. And you want to blame him for making you feel upset. You probably want to kill him, even.

But in time, you will figure out that you have a say in carrying this burden.

You can let it go – even if Jacob never apologizes.  //

This wisdom is huge coming from the mouth of Isaac.

I imagine Isaac has likely never heard his parents apologize for the things they did that brought shame upon the family and its mission.

This is huge coming from the lips of Isaac who likely has never heard his father apologize for tying him up, placing him on an altar, and raising a knife to his chest.

Friends, Isaac might be blind, but he is seeing clearly like never before!!

He’s finding the strength through the Holy Spirit to throw off experiences that have kept him from living a more meaningful, purposeful life.

What a breakthrough!

In fact, it seems to turn everything around for Isaac.

If we do the math, we can guestimate his age to be about 90 years old when the blessing is transferred. That’s old indeed.

But we read in Genesis 35:28 that he ends up living another 90 years, reaching 180!

That can’t be a coincidence!

This breakthrough of forgiving and letting go results in new energy and purpose!

Isaac is resurrected! Reborn!!  Amazing!!!!   //

Jacob finds God to be with him too in this breakthrough, angels walking with him for the next twenty years at uncle Laban’s in Haran.

And when it comes time for the estranged twins to meet, Esau has apparently let go of the hurt for some time.

Perhaps he had several long chats with his father during that time, and came to appreciate his dad’s own restless journey to forgiveness, throwing off the yoke. //

Friends, what are we carrying that weighs us down and stirs feelings of hurt and shame?

Who in the family have we not been able to forgive? What stories have we inherited that leave us embarrassed, wanting to disassociate from our clan?

No doubt we all have been wounded by favoritism and traditions that elevated some and pushed down others – over things as arbitrary as birth order, skin color, sexual identity, or even the amount of hair covering our body 😊.

But hear the good news in this story.

This chosen family made a breakthrough!

  • Rebekah risks being cursed by society for breaking a centuries-old tradition and finds out that God stands with her as promised from the time the twins were wrestling in her womb
  • Isaac receives courage from heaven to throw off his PTSD and start living, sighted with eyes that can see and support the uniqueness of each of his sons.
  • Jacob leaves with only a walking stick and is met by God’s angels, assuring him that his identity will flower even away from home. He is given a vision, too, of good things coming back and forth between heaven and earth.
  • Esau has his identity validated, and prospers in his own right. He lets go of his hurt and is filled with grace, seeing a bigger picture that includes him in this family, freeing him to embrace Jacob with tears of love.

Yes, this is a family made up of very imperfect people.

Yes, some of them take years to become restless and own their hurts, passing much of life by.

But the Holy Spirit is never done with them, and breakthroughs happen. Traditions that discriminate are broken. The world watches, and people are won over, wanting to belong. This is good news! For them, and for us.

Let’s close in prayer:

Dear God, we celebrate that in Your family, all belong, and that there are no divides that discriminate.

We are still catching on to how wide and vast this truth is. Even as we awaken to more and more imbalances and harms, we fear the cost of going against the stream.  

We thank you for Jesus, who in spite of his family, was also inspired by his family, and stood in their tradition of lifting up the disadvantaged.

Thank you for his bold choice to risk the curse of death, so that all of humankind might be welcomed into the family.

As we are healed and experience acceptance and oneness, inspire us to be agents of healing and hope, lighting the way home, so that all peoples will find their way. AMEN.

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